Category Archives: adoption

Ending 2014… Grateful welcome to 2015

What a year it has been, full of love and hate, full of amazing feats and full of disappointments. I am glad to see 2014 go. We have discovered that sometimes those who are blood are not really family…and those who are not blood are truly our family. One thing that I tell the kids is to give thanks with a grateful heart.

Having a thyroid tumor removed, and Shelby having tonsils out, made for an interesting year. But, by having these 2 surgeries, I was able to join an amazing essential oil company where we transformed our everyday living with all of our children. We have found oils to work with Berlyn’s autism, Trystan’s ADHD and even making it easier on headaches and heartaches.

We are continuing with our journey as biological parents, as adoptive parents and also as foster parents. Days are both easy and hard. We enjoy every minute with our children, although we are still working hard everyday to make sure that our boys are members of our family and don’t take on the habits from their past life. This doesn’t always work and it is really difficult at timimagees. Tonight included.

We have altered our way of thinking by adding goats to our homestead. Welcome to Pepper and Frankie into our family.  We hatched some chicken of our own this year and are truly thankful for our friends who gave us some as well.

Some of the kids and I have bonded in a whole new way, building fencing and gates. We are planning on making our homestead, just that during 2015.  We hope to add rabbits to our mini-ranch as well this next year. We already added a fodder system to feed our critters and Griffen is working really hard on his aquaponics system to get that up and running this spring.

So I say this with thanks…welcome 2015! We look forward to what you bring and thank God every day for what we have and what we strive to become.

Happy 7th birthday to my AMAZING Trystan!

Trystan as a baby

Mini Trystan

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WOWWIE!! 7… you made it!

Happy birthday little man!!! I am so glad that you are in our family!!

What do I love most about you? 

Your giggle…

Your love for food (although sometimes it is over CRAZY),

Your love for your “twin”,

Your snuggles,

Your holding my hand,

Your love for the movies,

Your silly jokes,

Your blue eyes

But most of all, I just love YOU!

 

Happy 2-year anniversary GOTCHA DAY!

IMG_20140317_162008253HAPPY GOTCHA DAY!!!!

WE.ARE.A.FAMILY!  2 years ago today, my little boys moved into my home through Arizona Foster care. At the time, we did know the path that we were going to end up.  And had no idea that these were going to be our children at the time.

They were blue from top to bottom from bruises and lash marks, had broken noses and cracked other bones. They were severely under weight and have both put on OVER 20 POUNDS in the last 2 years. They are both now right where their weights need to be!!

I feel that I need to continue telling others our story of our little boys and of Larry and I. It is not an easy job to be a foster family or as a family who decided to adopt older children who are in foster care (when I say older, I mean any child in the system over 2 because they start to have memories of their past at that point). We have our ups and downs. Thank GOD that the ups out-number the downs 10-fold.

Breckin and Trystan were 6 and 4 years old. They came from a transient family who was just passing through this area again (settling for only a few months at any location.)  They arrived at 11pm on July 10, 2012. They got here and inhaled an entire bag of “GoldFish” crackers and 1/2 of a gallon of milk.

I will not sugar coat how difficult a journey it has been for them because that wouldn’t be fair to them or to anyone reading who is interested in foster care and adoption through foster care. Each child is so different with their biofamilies and backgrounds. I don’t wish what my boys went through to be brought down on my worse enemy. We work on behavioral issues EVERY DAY! And although sometimes Larry and I don’t see it getting any easier with them, I know the progress that we made so far. I remember several of my friends bringing clothes over to my home to help us get ready for them and the tears in their eyes after seeing how bruised they were.

Both boys were feral. They were dirty and showering was a new concept. Simple things like forks and napkins were like talking Greek to them. There was no concept of living in a home or owning anything. It is almost as if I need the general person to see them as little “Tarzan” children. They arrived in nothing but a pair of sweatpants each and were filthy from top to bottom. As a matter of fact, we didn’t know that Trystan was blond until the 3 rinse on his hair!

The anniversary of our adoption was in May. And our journey continues. Their bio-dad was on the run last year for over 6 months last year and was finally caught and sentenced this last March.

We now have a relationship with their bio-mom who was not in the picture when all of this was going on. We email at least twice a month with videos and photos and scripture to help her on her journey in Christ as she heals like they need to. We praise God that she is on a different path!

We are thankful to try a non-medicated approach to their behaviors. Breckin’s nightmare have finally stopped after 20 months and with the help of essential oils. The side-effects of the meds on Breckin were not worth taking the medication to begin with.

We do still have to lock the refrigerator and the the pantry because food tends to disappear if I don’t. We still have to turn an alarm on their door at night to prevent sneaking out. And OOOHHH the adventures that we have had with potting in their room, or tearing up toys, clothes or even their curtains. Breckin still at times doesn’t understand what a family is for and will hit himself as if his brain hurts and Trystan who will be homeschooled this year due to his food allergies (unfortunately from being a meth baby), he still tries to eat gluten any chance he gets.  But those issues are immensely small compared to the progress that we have seen.

Learning how to bathe on their own, and eat with a fork. Saying please and thank you, progressing in school and enjoying children’s church and learn about Christ. Trystan is READING!!!  We have finally started to eat slower so we don’t inhale foods quite as bad. The favorite times that I do have is when I hear the name MOMMY from one of them and the I LOVE YOUs that I do get and the cuddles and hugs. Some progress this summer: Each of them have had their tennis shoes last more that 4 weeks… we are going on 14 weeks!!! YEAH! They LOVE their family and each other. Breckin LOVES Shelby and always wants to do things with her.

We have become a family. They are my children. On most occasions, I refer to Trystan and Rowan as my twins (because they are only 3 weeks apart in age) and they are now a true brother and sister. Breckin is starting to play with others regularily and can sit through a whole board game now!!!

WE.ARE.A.FAMILY! I will never give up on them and I hope that they know this! I LOVE YOU BOTH!

I am so thankful that I GOTCHA in my family!

Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid . . .  for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. – Deuteronomy 31:6

 

Here is a link to my 1 year anniversary Gotcha Day Post. 

2013 for adoption and our continued story

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2013 came in as a whirlwind for our family. We knew on January 1, 2013, that we were going to be the adoptive parents of our 2 little boys who we got in foster care that July. They got to change their names and really feel a part of the family. They continued therapy and we slowly got them to be at ease with their past and to understand that they were not at fault for being beaten by their birth father and his girlfriend.

In May, we had an official adoption day. YEA! We celebrated as they have never know, renting bouncy castles, hosting a BBQ and invited 100 of our family and friends.

June came with some perils as their birth dad was bailed out of jail by his mother and jumped bail. As I sat in the court house, stunned and crying as they issues a federal bench warrant with no clue as to his whereabouts. We opted to close the adoption after the grandmother bailed out their dad, knowing that we would have issues. She has tried to get information on them, calling CPS, Breckin’s school and even their current therapist.  We discovered that Trystan is gluten intolerant. So beginning in June, We started changing how we ate (yet again) in our home. Gluten-free pasta is surprisingly tasty!

We are thrilled to have such an amazing support system in place. Trystan started Kindergarten and Breckin is in 2nd grade with Berlyn and are all doing amazingly well ( Trystan’s exception is days that he decided to steal (or share) food that he is not allowed to eat.0  They continue to progress into fantastic children, slowly forgetting the horrors of their past. Shelby and Griffen are both enrolled into public school this last semester and are doing quite well. El and Ro are continuing at home and love all of the mommy one on one attention.

We attempted to contact the boys’ birth mom with several emails and to several different email addresses that we had for her but have yet to hear anything.  We finally got their birth certificates and Social Security cards in December. They are officially ours! On December 24th, we received an message that one of their step-moms heard that birth dad was arrested. On December 26, he was booked back into the local jail house waiting a pre-trial. So… their story doesn’t end quite yet. Larry and I will be at all future court hearings to finish this out.

Where do we go from here? We are back on the list for foster/adopt for a little girl too. We hope to adopt again in the future and know that if it is in God’s plan, then we shall again.