HAPPY GOTCHA DAY!!!!
WE.ARE.A.FAMILY! 2 years ago today, my little boys moved into my home through Arizona Foster care. At the time, we did know the path that we were going to end up. And had no idea that these were going to be our children at the time.
They were blue from top to bottom from bruises and lash marks, had broken noses and cracked other bones. They were severely under weight and have both put on OVER 20 POUNDS in the last 2 years. They are both now right where their weights need to be!!
I feel that I need to continue telling others our story of our little boys and of Larry and I. It is not an easy job to be a foster family or as a family who decided to adopt older children who are in foster care (when I say older, I mean any child in the system over 2 because they start to have memories of their past at that point). We have our ups and downs. Thank GOD that the ups out-number the downs 10-fold.
Breckin and Trystan were 6 and 4 years old. They came from a transient family who was just passing through this area again (settling for only a few months at any location.) They arrived at 11pm on July 10, 2012. They got here and inhaled an entire bag of “GoldFish” crackers and 1/2 of a gallon of milk.
I will not sugar coat how difficult a journey it has been for them because that wouldn’t be fair to them or to anyone reading who is interested in foster care and adoption through foster care. Each child is so different with their biofamilies and backgrounds. I don’t wish what my boys went through to be brought down on my worse enemy. We work on behavioral issues EVERY DAY! And although sometimes Larry and I don’t see it getting any easier with them, I know the progress that we made so far. I remember several of my friends bringing clothes over to my home to help us get ready for them and the tears in their eyes after seeing how bruised they were.
Both boys were feral. They were dirty and showering was a new concept. Simple things like forks and napkins were like talking Greek to them. There was no concept of living in a home or owning anything. It is almost as if I need the general person to see them as little “Tarzan” children. They arrived in nothing but a pair of sweatpants each and were filthy from top to bottom. As a matter of fact, we didn’t know that Trystan was blond until the 3 rinse on his hair!
The anniversary of our adoption was in May. And our journey continues. Their bio-dad was on the run last year for over 6 months last year and was finally caught and sentenced this last March.
We now have a relationship with their bio-mom who was not in the picture when all of this was going on. We email at least twice a month with videos and photos and scripture to help her on her journey in Christ as she heals like they need to. We praise God that she is on a different path!
We are thankful to try a non-medicated approach to their behaviors. Breckin’s nightmare have finally stopped after 20 months and with the help of essential oils. The side-effects of the meds on Breckin were not worth taking the medication to begin with.
We do still have to lock the refrigerator and the the pantry because food tends to disappear if I don’t. We still have to turn an alarm on their door at night to prevent sneaking out. And OOOHHH the adventures that we have had with potting in their room, or tearing up toys, clothes or even their curtains. Breckin still at times doesn’t understand what a family is for and will hit himself as if his brain hurts and Trystan who will be homeschooled this year due to his food allergies (unfortunately from being a meth baby), he still tries to eat gluten any chance he gets. But those issues are immensely small compared to the progress that we have seen.
Learning how to bathe on their own, and eat with a fork. Saying please and thank you, progressing in school and enjoying children’s church and learn about Christ. Trystan is READING!!! We have finally started to eat slower so we don’t inhale foods quite as bad. The favorite times that I do have is when I hear the name MOMMY from one of them and the I LOVE YOUs that I do get and the cuddles and hugs. Some progress this summer: Each of them have had their tennis shoes last more that 4 weeks… we are going on 14 weeks!!! YEAH! They LOVE their family and each other. Breckin LOVES Shelby and always wants to do things with her.
We have become a family. They are my children. On most occasions, I refer to Trystan and Rowan as my twins (because they are only 3 weeks apart in age) and they are now a true brother and sister. Breckin is starting to play with others regularily and can sit through a whole board game now!!!
WE.ARE.A.FAMILY! I will never give up on them and I hope that they know this! I LOVE YOU BOTH!
I am so thankful that I GOTCHA in my family!
Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid . . . for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. – Deuteronomy 31:6